KISAH WARDEN MASUK ISLAM SETELAH BERBICARA DAN TERTARIK DENGAN RUTIN TAHANAN MUSLIM..

Kisah beliau seakan-akan 'kisah pecah panggung'' dengan rating yang tinggi.Di mana-mana sahaja nama beliau dan kisah nya di perceritakan oleh orang-orang.Tidak kira di media sosial,akhbar,dan wawancara.Kisah seorang warden Guantanamo yang memeluk islam baru-baru ini..

Seorang Atheis warden di penjara terkenal Guantanamo yang berasal dari Amerika Syarikat telah memeluk islam kerana tertarik hati nya apabila sering melihat tahanan muslim selalu tersenyum.

Nama beliau ialah Terry Holdbrooks, tiba di Guantanamo pada tahun 2003.Pada waktu itu beliau baru berusia 19 tahun dan datang sebagai seorang penganut atheis namun setahun kemudian menjadi seorang Muslim yang taat.

Terry Holdbrooks mengaku yang beliau merasa kagum dengan tahanan-tahanan muslim di penjara tempat nya berkerja boleh bangun setiap hari dalam keadaan tersenyum walaupun tak berdaya dan terbelenggu kaki dan tangan di sebuah kem penjara yang sangat ketat kawalan dan tipisnya harapan untuk mendapat kebebasan..

Beliau memeluk Islam setelah menghabiskan banyak masa berbicara,mendekati dengan beberapa tahanan muslim yang boleh berbahasa Inggeris.Dari situ lah beliau mengenali akan indah nya Islam.Beliau merasakan ada sesuatu yang tidak diketahui melainkan perkara itu hanya ada di dalam islam.Maka Terry Holdbrooks mula bertanya mengenai islam sehingga berjam-jam,Kemudian Seorang dari tahanan penjara memberikan kepadanya salinan al Quran untuk dipelajari.Alhamdulillah beliau telah islam disaksikan tahanan-tahanan di penjara tersebut.

John and Smith entered a chocolate store.

As they were busy looking, Smith steals 3 chocolate bars.

After leaving the store,

Smith says to John: "Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, u cant beat that".

John replies: "You want to see something better, lets go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing."

So they went to the counter and John says to the Shop keeper:

"Do you want to see magic?" Shop keeper replies:"Yes."

John says: "Give me one chocolate bar."

The shopkeeper gave him one, and he eats it.

He asks for the second, and he eats that as well. He asks for the third, and finishes that one too.

The shop keeper asks: "But where's the magic?"

John replies: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them.

#The friend fainted

Please, Who is the real thief?  John/Smith

A guy went to visit his friend from a very rich family. When he entered, the maid approached him and asked :

MAID : what would you like to drink ? Fruit juice, yogurt, tea, chocolate, apple juice or coffee ?

GUY : Tea please

MAID : Ceylon tea, India tea, herbal tea, kerichon gold tea, bush tea, green tea ?

GUY : Ceylon tea please

MAID : how do you want it, black or white ?

GUY : White

MAID : Milk or fresh cream ?

GUY : with Milk

MAID : Goat Milk or Cow Milk ?

GUY : Cow Milk

MAID : Freezland cow or afrikner cow ?

GUY : hmmm, let me go with the Freezland cow

MaID : would you like it with Sweetner, Sugar or honey ?

GUY : Sugar

MAID : bee sugar or Cane Sugar ?

GUY : Cane sugar

MAID : White, brown or yellow sugar ?

GUY : A beg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water.

MAID : Mineral, Tap or distilled water ?

GUY : Mineral water

MAID : Flavored or non flavored ?

GUY : In fact get Me an empty glass.

MAID : You want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug ?

GUY : A beg, free me, make i swallow ma spit.

KUALA LUMPUR – “Saya tiada niat hina Islam”.

Itulah kata-kata yang diungkapkan oleh pembikin video yang kini menjadi viral di laman sosial Facebook, Chetz Yusof, yang merupakan seorang penganut Islam.

Menurut wanita berusia 38 tahun ini, tujuannya memuat naik video itu adalah untuk memberikan pendidikan kepada masyarakat di luar sana mengenai penjagaan anjing seperti mana yang dilakukannya.

“Saya takde niat pun hina Islam sebaliknya video itu adalah pada mulanya saya memang buat suka-suka tapi alang-alang baik saya ‘educate’ orang di luar mengenai penjagaan anjing dan kebersihan,” katanya eksklusif ketika dihubungi Mynewshub sebentar tadi.

Selain itu, Chetz yang merupakan seorang jurutera, turut berasa pelik apabila video yang sudah lama dimuat naik sejak 2010 itu, hanya kini hendak diperkatakan.

“Benda ni dah lama kenapa dia (video) timbul sekarang? Orang Melayu terlebih sensitif,” katanya yang memiliki lapan ekor anjing yang semuanya merupakan anjing jalanan.

Chetz turut menyatakan tujuan video itu direkod adalah untuk menunjukkan kebersihan dalam menjaga haiwan peliharaan selain menyatakan anjing itu tidak haram untuk dibela.

Anjing-anjing yang dibela itu kesemuanya merupakan anjing terbiar dan dibuang di jalanan malah ada di antaranya yang buta serta pernah dilanggar orang.

“(Bela) Anjing ini tak haram, kalau basah, kita samak,” katanya lagi.

Ketika ditanya tidakkah dia takut sekiranya pihak berkuasa bakal mengambil tindakan terhadapnya, Chetz mengatakan, “saya risau ambil masa saya, buat report polis, kena buat ‘statement’ kepada polis, itu yang saya risau sebab ia mengambil masa saya”.
BACA: Chetz Yusof Seorang Islam
BACA: Video Rai Aidil Fitri Hina Islam
Chetz yang masih bujang ini tinggal bersama dua lagi rakan serumahnya yang beragama Islam malah mereka turut sama menjaga anjing-anjingnya yang merupakan baka Mix Breed atau Mongrel itu.

Menurutnya lagi, keluarganya turut menyokong tindakannya menyelamatkan anjing jalanan dan terbiar walaupun ada di antara ahli keluarganya tidak bersetuju pada mulanya.

“Ada ahli keluarga pada mulanya tak bersetuju, tapi bila saya terangkan, mereka boleh terima benda ini,” katanya yang mengharapkan semua pihak tidak cepat melatah dengan perkara ini.

Menerusi video berdurasi satu minit 14 saat itu, Chetz meraikan Aidilfitri bersama tiga ekor anjingnya dengan berlatar belakangkan audio Takbir Raya sekali gus menimbulkan kemarahan segelintir pihak kerana dikatakan menghina umat Islam di Malaysia.

Sumber

Smith First day in a new Secondary School.

Teacher: There will be an elementary science test next week.

Contrary to his nature, Smith reads his book from cover to cover like no man's business.

On test day, teacher lines up about 5 birds, covering each with a piece of cloth so only their legs is visible.

Question 1: Looking at the leg of a bird write down its' common name, species, family, zoological name, habitat etc.

After about 20mins of frustration and not writing down anything, Smith storms to the teacher's desk and slams his blank sheet in front of the teacher.

'Sir, this test makes no sense! I am going home!'

Teacher: What a rude boy! Come back here. What is your name?

Smith raises his trouser and points to his leg: 'Oya you too, look my leg, tell me my name, my surname, where I they live, which tribe I come from.

In a factory: A man standing on the floor and looking aimlessly......

CEO of that factory came and asked his salary...

Man replied "5000 sir"

CEO took out his wallet and gave 15000 and told him...

"I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary.

Now get out of here. Never come back"

That guy left............

Then CEO asked workers "Who was that guy?"

Workers replied "Courier Boy Sir"..

Moral: Don't overreact in every situation!

P/S : Make your friend happy SHARE this

Penyebaran ini amat meluas sekarang di sekitar Malaysia. Kenapa tidak pihak berwajib tidak mengambil tindakan yang tegas kepada yang mengamalkannya.

Nampaknya fahaman Syiah yang ramai dok heboh sekarang ni dah menular dengan giat sekali di Kedah.. Dan gambar dibawah ni katanya diambil disebuah kawasan di Jitra Kedah..

Kami terfikir jugak apa motif pemilik kedai makan tu letakkan gambar pemimpin-pemimpin Syiah di kedai dorang.. Adakah dorang saja-saja letak sebab pemimpin Syiah tu hensem?

Ataupun dorang sengaja letak kerana muka pemimpin Syiah tu dapat melariskan perniagaan dorang? Senang cakap.., sebagai tangkal pelaris lah kannn...

So gua harap Muhkriz sebagai MB baru Kedah dapat mengambil tindakan sewajarnya lah.. Banteras Syiah ini di Malaysia !!!

Lokasi :

Sumber

Redhongyi Artis berbakat dari Sabah ini pernah manghasilkan bendera dari makanan dan seni di dalam piggan. Hari ini mari lihat beliau menghasilkan lukisan burung menggunakan kelopak bunga. Sila follow RedHongyi di Instagram.

Sumber

A student failed in law & decided to make a deal with professor.

Sir, do you know everything about law?

Prof: Yes.

Student: If you can answer this question, i will accept my final marks, if you cant, you have to give me "A" Grade.

Professor agreed.

Boy asked: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"

Prof thought about it for hours & pondered no answer.

He had to finally give up as he really did not know.

He gave the boy his "A" Grade.

The following day, professor asked same question to his students.

He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.

He asked one student.

He answered: Sir, you are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical.

Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.

Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A" Grade, This is neither logical nor legal.

The professor collapsed...

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3×3?” Harry: “9?

Principal: “What is 6×6?” Harry: “36?

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?” Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?” Harry: “Pants.”

Ms. Brooks: “What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?” Harry: “Coconut.”

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?” Harry: “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?” Harry: “Firetruck.”

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.”

 Kerana Lukisannya, Budak Ini Peroleh Pendapatan RM 8 Juta seawal usia 10 tahun, budak ini sudah peroleh pendapatan RM8juta, sudah pasti korang berasa hairan akan kemahiran yang dimilikinya.

Beliau merupakan seorang prodigi lukisan Kieron Williamson kini telah memperolehi pendapatan sekitar RM7juta hingga ke RM8juta dari hasil jualan lukisannya. Kieron telah mula menunjukkan bakat melukis pada umur 5 tahun dan telah membuat beberapa pameran lukisan di sekitar bandar Norfolk di England dan telah menjual 23 buah lukisan pada harga £242,095 ( hampir RM1juta ) .

Kieron mula meminati bidang melukis seawal usia 6tahun. Pendapatannya yang tinggi membuatkan beliau semakin didorong ahli keluarganya kerana kehidupan mereka agak susah suatu ketika dahulu. Kini, Mereka sudahpun memiliki harta yang amat mewah dan kesenangan hidup atas bakat hebat ciptaan tuhan ini.

Kieron juga telah diberikan jolokan nama Mini Monet kerana bakat melukisnya dan duit dari hasil jualan lukisan itu diuruskan oleh ibu bapanya.

Interviewer: There are 500 bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That's easy, 499

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died, Why?

Applicant: Err....I guess she drowned?
Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.

A young boy Talking To A Ghost..

BOY: Why Did You Die … ? ?

GHOST: I Was Hit By A Car Trying To Save Someone

BOY: Why?

GHOST: Because I Don’t Want Her To Get Hurt.

BOY: You Really Love Her A Lot Because You’ve sacrificed Your own Life Just For Her. May be She’s Sad Now, Because of Your Death.

GHOST: No. She’s Very Happy Because The one That I Saved Is The Man Whom She Loves.....

Now tell me, what will you call this love?

After Few days,

Son: Are ghosts real?

Dad: Of course not.

Son: But the maid said they are.

Dad: Son pack your bags....we don't have a maid

 Arnoud Van Doorn bukanlah nama baru dalam dunia politik Belanda. Dia aktif bersama PVV, bahkan merupakan salah seorang pucuk pimpinan tertinggi sebagai Timbalan Ketua. Namun, masih terdapat persoalan yang bermain di mindanya. Mengapa partinya selalu memusuhi Islam? Perasaan inilah yang membuatkan Van Doorn teringin mendampingi Islam, hingga dia mula mempelajari apa itu Islam yang sebenarnya.

“Saya kini mula memperdalamkan pengetahuan saya tentang Islam,” kata Van Doorn ketika mengenang waktu awal hidayah Islam mula menghampirinya.

Rasa minat itu membuatkan Van Doorn mula mencari terjemahan Al-Qur’an, hadis, dan buku-buku rujukan Islam. Hari-hari berikutnya, dia lalui dengan membaca dan mengkaji buku-buku itu satu per satu, tanpa meninggalkan aktivitinya yang lain. Selama ini, Van Doorn hanya tahu mengenai Islam daripada orang-orang yang membenci agama itu sahaja.

Mereka yang dekat dengan Van Doorn sebenarnya tahu bahawa Van Doorn membaca rujukan tentang Islam, tetapi mereka tidak menyangka sama sekali bahawa itu akan menjadi jalan hidayah bagi Van Doorn. Hal ini kerana dalam dunia mereka, mengkaji sesebuah pemikiran atau suatu akan menjadi lebih faham tanpa harus mempercayai dan mengikutinya. Bahkan, tidak ramai orang yang mempelajari Islam dan kemudian menyerang kembali agama tersebut.

Van Dorn menghabiskan masa hampir setahun untuk mengkaji al-Qur’an, Sunnah dan beberapa rujukan mengenai Islam. Dia juga sempat berdialog dengan penganut Islam bagi mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang agama yang menarik hatinya itu.

“Orang-orang di sekeliling saya tahu bahawa saya kini aktif meneliti al-Qur’an, sunnah dan tulisan-tulisan lain selama hampir setahun ini. Selain itu, saya juga telah banyak melakukan dialog dengan orang Islam tentang agama,” ujar Doorn dalam satu rancangan siaran Al-Jazeera (English).

Semakin lama mempelajari Islam, Van Doorn menjadi semakin tertarik dengan agama itu. Dia mula merasakan Islam sebagai suatu agama yang sangat istimewa. Meskipun, sebelum ini dia juga mempercayai Kristian sebagai agamanya, namun Van Doorn merasakan agama Islam itu lebih istimewa.

Apa yang selama ini ada dalam kepalanya bahawa Islam itu fanatik, menindas wanita, tidak bertoleransi, secara membabi buta memusuhi Barat, secara perlahan-lahan mula hilang dari fikirannya. Van Doorn menemui Islam sebagai sesuatu yang sama sekali berbeza dari apa yang pernah dia sangka sebelum ini.

Van Doorn juga menemui yang agama Islam adalah agama yang cinta akan kedamaian. Tidak seperti tuduhan media Barat yang selama ini memfitnah Islam sebagai pengganas dan menyuruh penganutnya melakukan keganasan.

“99% kaum Muslimin adalah mereka yang bekerja keras dan pecinta kedamaian. Sekiranya lebih banyak orang mempelajari agama Islam yang sebenar, semakin banyak orang yang akan melihat keindahan itu,” kata Van Doorn ketika di wawancara oleh MNA.

Jalan hidayah bagi Van Doorn semakin terbuka lebar ketika bertemu dengan seorang Muslim bernama Aboe Khoulani, seorang rakannya yang menjawat jawatan di Dewan Kota Den Haag. Selain dapat menjelaskan Islam dengan lebih jauh, ia juga dapat merapatkan Van Doorn dengan Masjid As-Soennah.

Puncak “pertarungan batin” mula di alami oleh Van Doorn tidak lama kemudian. Adakah dia akan mengikut hidayah yang mula meresapi oleh fitrahnya itu atau hanya menjadikannya sebagai ilmu pengetahuan. Walaubagaimana pun, dia sangat beruntung kerana persoalan itu tidak berlarutan. Setelah yakin dengan Islam, Van Doorn pun mengikrarkan dua kalimah syahadat. Dia kini telah pun menjadi seorang Muslim dan menjadi salah seorang saudara baru bagi kira-kira 1.9 juta umat Islam di Belanda. Tetapi, bagi parti dan pengikutnya, Van Doorn telah dicap sebagai “pengkhianat.”

Boy: Will you marry me ?

Girl: Do you have a house ?

Boy: None but…

Girl: Do you have a BMW car ?

Boy: None but…

Girl: How much is your salary ?

Boy: No salary but.

Girl: No but. You have nothing. How can I marry you? Just leave me, please!

* GIRL GOES AWAY *

Boy: *talking to himself*

I have one Villa,

3 plots,

3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche, 1 Lamborghini

Why I still need to buy a cheap BMW ?:O

How can I get the salary when actually I’m the BOSS

Fat man saw an ad: "lose 5kg in a week" in a newspaper.

He calls the company & lady says be ready tomorrow at 6am.

The next morning he opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes, undergarments & shirt saying: "if you catch me, u can do anything to me!" & the girl starts running.

He starts running but doesn't catch her.

During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't.

However he loses 5 kg.

He then asks for the 10kg program.

Next morning at 6 he opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thong & a shirt
saying: "If you catch me, u can do anything to me!".

He loses 10 kg that week.

So he thought this program is awesome!

Lets try the 25 kg! So he asked for the 25 kg but the lady said "Are Youu sure? its really tough".
He said "YES!"

Next day at 6 he opens the door, he finds a gay in just underwear saying..

"If I catch u, I will f*** u.."

 Di awal hayatnya, Adolf Hitler mahu menjadi seorang artis. Pada tahun 1907 beliau menghantar beberapa karya beliau ke Academy Of Fine Arts Vienna dengan harapan beliau akan diberi tempat oleh belajar di sana. Permohonan beliau ditolak. Pada tahun 1908 beliau mencuba sekali lagi tetapi kali ini juga beliau gagal. Professor di Academy of Fine Arts Vienna menyarankan Hilter untuk mencuba jurusan senibina beliau tidak layak kerana keputusan akademik yang tidak mencukupi. Selepas kegagalan ini Hitler hidup di Vienna sebagai seorang gelandangan. Para pengkaji sejarah percaya sekiranya Hitler diterima masuk, pemusnahan etnik di Eropah mungkin tidak akan berlaku.

Oleh sebab ini juga selepas Hitler menjadi Fuhrer,beliau memusnahkan lukisan "modern art" yang ada kerana beliau masih butthurt lukisan realistik beliau di bawah dikatakan "tidak cukup bagus". Sepanjang hayat beliau Hitler menghasilkan 723 karya seni berupa catan air dan lakaran. Ada yang dirampas tentera Amerika paska Perang Dunia Kedua dan sehingga kini tidak pernah ditayangkan kepada umum. Karya yang tidak dirampas dilelong pada harga ratusan ribu dillar. Kesemua hasil kerja beliau yang dianggap tidak cukup bagus oleh Academy of Fine Arts kini menjadi buruan pengumpul memoribilia Reich Ketiga.

Husband and Wife - BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Husband – Aaah! …At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife – Do you want me to leave?

Husband – No! Don’t even think about it.

Wife – Do you love me?

Husband – Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife – Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband – No! Why are you even asking?

Wife – Will you kiss me?

Husband – Every chance I get!

Wife – Will you hit me?

Husband – Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife – Can I trust you?

Husband – Yes.

Wife – Darling!

Husband and wife – AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.

For Example Fight Read Given Below..

Wife hit her husband with frying pan.

Husband: What was that for…?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.

TEHERAN – Seorang seniman Iran yang lahir tidak memiliki kedua tangannya berhasil menaklukkan cacatnya dengan belajar menggunakan kakinya untuk melukis, memasak bahkan mengirimkan SMS.

Zohreh Etezad Saltaneh (49), lahir tidak seperti bayi lainnya, dia tidak memiliki kedua tangan.

Kini wanita separuh baya tersebut tinggal di sebuah rumah di Teheran dengan ibunya yang telah berusia 85 tahun. Saltaneh dengan mudahnya menggunakan kedua kakinya untuk melakukan kegiatan sehari-hari serta menjaga ibunya yang sudah tua.

“Saya tidak memiliki masalah. Dengan berlatih saya boleh melakukan tugas saya lebih baik dibandingkan orang normal dan mendapatkan kebanggan tersendiri,” ujarnya.

Perlu waktu selama 40 tahun baginya untuk boleh mengalahkan cacatnya ketika ini, dia harus berjuang dengan kehidupan sehari-hari mencari nafkah, tapi dia menganggap dirinya tidak berbeza dengan wanita lainnya.

“Pepatah saya adalah, cacat bukan berarti harus dibatasi,” ujarnya.

Walaupun cacat, dia berhasil dalam bidang seni, dia pun berhasil mendapatkan beberapa penghargaan dan lukisannya dipamerkan di 60 pameran di seluruh dunia.

Bakat seni dalam dirinya tidak menghentikan dirinya untuk melukis. Saltaneh juga menenun karpet Persia dengan menggunakan kakinya dan berharap bahwa suatu hari nanti dapat dipamerkan dalam pameran budaya di Iran.

A guy asked a girl in a library;

“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes,

the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, -

I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!" And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears;

“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"

Teacher Student Conversation

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage.

Sebuah kisah yang amat jarang kita dengar apabila terdapat seorang lelaki di Kota Xianyang China membeli sebuah kereta dengan menggunakan duit syiling seberat 300kg. Dia membawa duit syiling sebanyak 60 ribu Yuan ke sebuah pusat penjualan kereta yang terletak di  Provinsi Shaanxi, China.

Seorang lelaki nekad membeli sebuah kereta baru dengan menggunakan duitnya sendiri. Namun sedikit pelik apabila dia melakukan pembayaran secara tunai dengan 7 karung wang berisi duit syiling.

Lelaki itu merupakan seorang peniaga tepung,Dia mengangkut duit syilingnya itu yang dikumpul dalam 7 karung tepung itu dengan menggunakan kereta untuk sampai ke pusat jualan kereta itu.Dealer kereta yang bekerja di pusat penjualan kereta itu menghadapi kesukaran untuk mencari bank yang menerima duit syiling,namun begitu akhirnya ada satu bank yang menerima duit syiling lelaki tersebut.

Lelaki itu tidak dapat membawa pulang kereta idamannya pada hari itu kerana pihak bank masih mengira semua duit syilingnya itu yang telah dikumpulnya selama 10tahun dari hasil penjualan tepung.

P/S : Korang rasa perbuatan ini rare atau apa? Sila komen dibawah

An African man and Englishman lived next door to each other.

The African owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg.

The African man ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.

The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the African man said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The Englishman agreed to this and so the African man put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.

The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.

Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

The African man smiled and said, "You can keep the damn egg!!"

Untuk memberikan kesedaran tentang betapa bahayanya penggunaan senjata api di kalangan masyarakat, Pedro Reyes, seorang artis dari Mexico City memberikan makna dan fungsi lain untuk kira-kira 6,700 senjata api yang dirampas daripada perang antara kartel dadah. Senjata-senjata api tersebut sepatutnya ditanam sebagai cara untuk melupuskannya.

Dalam projek seni beliau yang digelar 'Imagine', Reyes bekerjasama dengan enam orang pemuzik selama dua minggu untuk menghasilkan 50 alat muzik daripada senjata api tersebut sebagai cara untuk memberikan kesedaran tentang keganasan yang berlaku di Mexico.

Senjata api tersebut telah dipotong, dikimpal dan diubah menjadi alat muzik yang boleh dimainkan.

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:

“Hi honey,this is daddy.Is mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.

“After a brief pause daddy says,“But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”

“Oh yes I do,and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”

Brief pause,“Uh okay then,this is what I want you to do:put the phone down on the table,run upstairs,knock on the bedroom door,and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”

“Ok daddy just a minute....”

A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.

”"What happened honey?”

“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked,ran round the room screaming,tripped over,and knocked her head on the staircase,now she is not moving at all.”

“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool,but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”

After a really long pause this time...

Daddy says,“Swimming pool,but we don't have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”

“No,this is 486-5713”

“Sorry wrong number....!!!!”

A son and his father were walking on the mountains.

Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams : “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain : “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Curious, he yells : “Who are you ?”

He receives the answer : “Who are you ?”

Angered at the response, he screams : “Coward !”

He receives the answer : “Coward !”

He looks to his father and asks : “What ’s going on ?”

The father smiles and says : “My son, pay attention.”

And then he screams to the mountain : “I admire you!”

The voice answers : “I admire you!”

Again the man screams : “You are a champion!”

The voice answers : “You are a champion!”

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains : “People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it.”

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 4 1/2 years old.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea," which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing!"

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know . . ... )

"Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

There were two nuns One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?

I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to ****us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

A little while later...

SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

A newly wed couple moves into their house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says!

WIFE: Honey, you know in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?
HUSBAND: What do I look like Mr. Plumber?

A few days go by and he comes home from work!

WIFE: Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?
HUSBAND: What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?

The next day the husband comes back home from work! The plumbing is fixed, so is the roof and so is the car! He asked his wife what happened.

WIFE: Oh, I had a handyman come fix them.
HUSBAND: How much did it cost?
WIFE: Nothing, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or sleep with him!
HUSBAND: Which cake did you bake?
WIFE: Do I look like Cakes n Cream?